Dating In Your 30's: Tips from a Dating Coach in Austin

Dating in your 30’s (and beyond) in the modern dating era can be frustrating, disheartening, and disappointing… but it can also be much more liberating, enjoyable, fun, empowering, and filled with deeper connections. Since I’m a glass half full kind of person, I like to think of dating in your 30s as an incredibly rich experience, so I definitely fall into the latter group above. Read below for 3 tips I’ve used in my own dating journey that have made dating in my 30s so much more enjoyable.

Take the pressure off yourself (and your date)
Yes, you want the date to go well, but if you put too much pressure on yourself (and your date), you end up missing the entire experience! Dating is an opportunity to get to know another person, and if you view it in that way, it will take the pressure off and make the date much more enjoyable. There’s no expectation for this date to go a certain way to fulfill a certain desire of yours (of course that is the end goal but by taking the pressure off, you’ll more likely to get to your desired end goal, ironically enough)
Be super present during your date
I find that when I am super present during my date and the experience, I end up having a much more enjoyable time. I’m also less anxious during the date because I’m redirecting that energy to be present in the dating experience. I’m listening to my date, savoring the food, enjoying the location, etc and I’m letting myself become fully immersed in the experience. If you struggle with this, a meditation before the date could help as well as telling yourself, “My only goal is to be fully present on my date.” If you find yourself nervous during the date, take a moment to re-ground yourself and see how you can be more present on the date. With practice, this becomes easier and easier and pretty soon, you’ll find yourself enjoying your dates more!
View your experiences and dates through a lens of curiosity
If my date tells me something that may seem less than perfect, I try to view it through a lens of curiosity vs judgment. I may ask questions to dive deeper. The other thing is understanding that as we get older, we tend to bring more baggage to our dates (which is totally okay, we’re both imperfect human beings with our own life experience so of course we each bring our own baggage to the table). Of course, always listen to your gut if you feel any sense of danger, but adapting a mindset of curiosity and open-ness can be very helpful. Our lives become intricately more messy/complex as we continue dating in the digital age, so I go into dating with that mindset and understanding and find the experience much more enjoyable.

Generally, in your 30s, you’re more aware of the person you are, your values, and what is important to you. You might also realize that things you thought were important earlier in life aren’t so important now. Dating in your 30s can be such a tender and vulnerable experience which in my opinion makes dating much more meaningful and enjoyable!